Have you ever questioned your relationship, wondered if you love your partner, or felt an overwhelming need for constant reassurance? If these thoughts have taken over your mind, you may be experiencing Relationship OCD. A condition that causes intense doubt, anxiety, and distress about your relationship.
This OCD is more common than people think, and it’s often misunderstood. However, couples must recognize the signs early and understand their symptoms with the help of a mental health provider would help sustain their relationship.
In this blog, we will dive into the key signs and symptoms of Relationship OCD, how it affects your life, and how treatments help you regain control of it. Thus, if you constantly question your feelings or relationship, keep reading.
What is Relationship OCD?
Relationship OCD (ROCD) is a subtype of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) that revolves around obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors regarding a person’s romantic relationship. Unlike general relationship doubts that may pop up from time to time, it leads to intrusive questioning about the relationship and one’s partner. Moreover, these thoughts are so intense that they interfere with the thought of trusting one’s feelings, which leads to confusion, anxiety, and distress. Furthermore, people with Relationship OCD, get thoughts like, “Am I in love with my partner?” or “Do I feel the right way about them?”. These thoughts might repeat themselves repeatedly. Thus, leads the individual to seek constant reassurance from their partner or even avoid intimacy altogether, all in a desperate attempt to eliminate the doubts.
Signs and Symptoms of Relationship OCD
The OCD symptoms are both psychological and behavioral, and they vary from person to person. However, there are some common signs that you or someone you know may be experiencing such a kind of OCD. These include:
1. Constant Doubts About Your Relationship:
People with Relationship OCD often question whether they love their partner, whether they’re compatible, or whether they’re in the right relationship. However, this is not just occasional uncertainty; it’s persistent and often irrational doubt. No matter how much reassurance you receive from your partner, the doubts never disappear.
2. Reassurance-Seeking Behaviors:
One of the key behaviors associated with Relationship OCD is repeatedly seeking reassurance from your partner. However, this means you have this urge to ask your partner if they love you, or if you’re doing enough for the relationship, etc. Unfortunately, reassurance-seeking usually offers only temporary relief, and the cycle of doubt continues.
3. Over-Analyzing Every Interaction:
If you find yourself overanalyzing every conversation, gesture or look from your partner, it could be a sign of Relationship OCD. However, individuals with this condition might read into innocent comments or gestures, questioning their true meaning and significance.
4. Fear of Making the Wrong Choice:
A fear of making the wrong choice in a relationship is common with Relationship OCD. As a result, you may become fixated on wondering if you made the right decision in choosing your partner. Moreover, this fear leads to constant second-guessing and a lack of peace regarding your relationship.
5. Avoiding intimacy:
Ironically, when someone with Relationship OCD feels overwhelmed by doubts, they may avoid intimacy with their partner. Yet, they feel that emotional or physical closeness only amplifies their fears, so they withdraw from affection or intimacy.
What Causes Relationship OCD?
Understanding what causes Relationship OCD provides helpful insights into why this condition occurs. While research on this specific subtype of OCD is still developing, several factors may contribute to the onset of these kinds of relationships:
1. Genetics and Family History:
Just like other forms of OCD, genetics may play a role in the development of Relationship OCD. However, a family history of OCD or anxiety disorders may increase the likelihood of developing this condition. Furthermore, some people may have a genetic tendency to create high-functioning anxiety, which manifests in a relationship context.
2. Personality Traits:
Certain personality traits, such as perfectionism or a high need for certainty, may make someone more prone to this kind of OCD. Moreover, those who constantly seek reassurance or who feel the need for everything to be “just right” in their relationships are more vulnerable to developing obsessive thoughts.
3. Past Trauma or Relationship Experiences:
Previous emotional trauma or difficult relationship experiences trigger or exacerbate Relationship OCD. For example, someone who has been cheated on in a past relationship may develop heightened doubts or fears in future relationships. Furthermore, this kind of emotional baggage makes it difficult to trust a new partner, even when they are trustworthy.
4. Stress and Anxiety:
Periods of high stress or anxiety in life can trigger relationships. However, stressful life events, such as a significant life transition, make you more susceptible to developing obsessive thoughts about your relationship. Additionally, the heightened anxiety caused by these situations spills over into your romantic life, creating doubts that didn’t exist before.
How Does Relationship OCD Impact Your Life?
Living with Relationship OCD significantly affects your emotional well-being, your relationship, and your overall quality of life. Here are some of the ways OCD impacts you:
- Emotional Exhaustion: The constant cycle of obsessive thoughts, anxiety, and reassurance-seeking is mentally exhausting. It leaves you feeling drained and emotionally worn out.
- Strained Relationships: The constant questioning and reassurance-seeking that strains the relationship, causing frustration and tension between partners. As a result, your partner may feel helpless or confused by the endless cycle of doubt.
- Decreased Self-Esteem: Relationship OCD leads to feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt as you constantly question your feelings or worth in the relationship.
- Reduced Enjoyment: The obsessive thoughts often prevent you from enjoying the present moment in the relationship. Instead of being able to relax and appreciate the relationship, you’re trapped in a loop of doubt and anxiety.
How is Relationship OCD Treated?
The good news is that various relationship issues are treatable, and many people experience relief through various treatment options given by a couple’s counselor. Moreover, treatment typically involves a combination of therapy and sometimes medication.
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
CBT is one of the most effective treatments for Relationships with OCD. It helps individuals recognize and challenge irrational thoughts and beliefs. Through CBT, you learn how to confront your doubts without engaging in compulsive behaviors, such as seeking reassurance from your partner.
2. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP):
ERP, a subtype of CBT, is beneficial for people with Relationship OCD. It helps individuals gradually expose themselves to their fears about the relationship while resisting the urge to engage in compulsive behaviors. For example, if you feel compelled to ask your partner for reassurance, ERP will guide you in refraining from this behavior, allowing you to reduce anxiety over time.
3. Medication:
In some cases, medication may be prescribed to help manage anxiety and obsessive thoughts. However, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are commonly used to treat Relationships with OCD and other types of OCD. Moreover, such medications help regulate the brain’s serotonin levels, which reduces obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors.
4. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques:
Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, help manage anxiety. In addition, these practices allow individuals to stay present and focused, reducing the tendency to obsess over potential problems in the relationship.
Conclusion
Relationship OCD is a challenging condition that requires couples to address it, accept it, and look for ways to build a strong relationship with their partner. However, with proper treatment and support, it is entirely possible to regain control over your thoughts and have a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Therefore, there are effective ways to manage the symptoms and reduce the impact of OCD on your life with therapy, medication, or self-help strategies. Lastly, if you’re struggling with Relationship problems, you need to seek help from a qualified mental health professional who guides you through the healing process. At Eximious, we believe that every couple deserves to experience peace of mind and clarity in their relationship.
